Divinely Demented
by angrylibra
Summary: AU, Innes-L'Arachel. When a young businessman is asked to stage a party for his company, he finds himself at the mercy of Her Migrainess. At the same time, he is that Client from Hell for her. She vows to free him from Grumpy when all he wants is a good aspirin for his headache... but he wants perfection and she's professional... right? Written in drabbles.
1. Chapter 1: Ambush

**A/N: **Standard disclaimer apply. I don't own anything except my stories... and Innes, since he's my husband. Wait, that sounds wrong. Okay, I don't own Fire Emblem, the only ones I own are my stories and my wedding ring with Innes... alright, I'm crazy, so again, I don't own Fire Emblem. Period! xD

Also, I listened to Cancion del Mariachi when writing this. It just felt okay... don't kill me.

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**Chapter 1: Ambush**

"... You would want to WHAT?" his eyes widened as he heard his father spoke. He rushed to the floor above his own the moment he got a message asking for him to come upstairs. His father didn't say anything about this. He was only requested to meet him in his office.

Innes Frelia sat with a terrified look on his face. Loosening his tie like he was about to choke, he glanced at his father who seemed to be indifferent upon his getting such reaction from the son. "But."

"But? You graduated with a summa cum laude and the smartest reply you could compose is a but?" Hayden Frelia, his father, frowned.

"And it's not a valid sentence, Dear Brother," his sister who sat on the velvet sofa in the room added.

"Out," Innes glared at her.

"Awww, Dad," Tana Frelia made an expression of a fainted penguin.

"Listen, Innes. This party is important," Hayden replied in time before Innes wrestled with Tana. "The moment is perfect. We will be celebrating the birth of this company in less than four months. Imagine, 35 years, my children," Innes swore he saw a raging wave behind his father as he spoke—the spirit of a terrifying old man. "The sailing is not always smooth, but here we are, claiming our rightful place as one of the prominent business empires in the city. We have to be thankful for the success!"

"Sounds like that's because you want to show people who's the boss," Innes responded with a feral smile. His father smirked.

"That's a side effect—but I'm glad you see that too. Wicked, no? We will have deals and tenders with other big companies, and they will be invited to celebrate _our victory. _Win or lose, this party will still be held, but I think I agree that it's better to party in victory. Innes?"

"Let's say we have three months," Innes hissed. "And suddenly you want me to deal with all the wuss. Meeting idiots, making foolish planning, like a polka dot butterfly... you don't have someone else to be sacrificed?"

"There _is _a polka dot butterfly?" Tana's eyes widened.

"Why is _that thing _even here?" Innes glared at Tana.

"Don't dare talking like that to your precious sister! Care for her you brat, she's the gem of the family..." Hayden rose to his feet.

"... Not all gems bright," there was a victorious tone in his voice as he mercilessly killed Tana's dignity. "So, what all this have to do with Tana?"

"Helping you," Hayden replied on behalf of his daughter. "I brought you an ally, okay? See, reinforcement. A good commander should know how to turn a disadvantaged situation to a victory. How am I going to trust you with the company later?"

"Maybe. But a _fine_ commander knows how _not _to get in trouble," Innes replied sarcastically. "You want me to prepare a party, stage a good performance for our rivals to see. Securing deals with other prominent business kingdoms... fine! I'll do it, but I'll do it _my way._"

"A fine commander won't drag the entire platoon with him to doom," Hayden warned. "Or if that's your way to rebel like a manchild..."

"A commander chooses the men he wishes to go to a war with," Innes muttered under his breath. "After all I'm the son of Frelia Family, okay? I am also a part of our business as well... I'll do it, Father, gosh."

"I still can't let you be like that," Hayden uttered his disbelieving the son frankly. "Sure you'll report to me, step by step?" without waiting for a reply, he continued, "Of course you will! Alright, everyone, get back to work. And Tana, let Innes drive you home! I'm sure we'll need some... chemistry in order for this to work out."

Innes hated his father's big grin that day.


	2. Chapter 2: Bargaining

Hello, thank you for the kind reviews! And thanks to The Musing Airhead for pointing what's supposedly "Not all gems are bright" out, yes, that escaped me LOL. Soooo here goes, everyone! I hope you are entertained.

XOXO

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**Chapter 2: Bargaining**

They said a devoted daughter was a blessing for the family...

_... Of others._

Nothing shocked Innes more than a dressed-in-business-attire Tana sitting cross-legged _on his desk _as he entered his office that morning. And what a rare scenery! His sister clad in white shirt and gray trousers, her blue hair tied into a bun 'defended' with two golden bobby pins. She wore a pair of black Mary Jane flats with straps—another surprise for him because...

_"I don't want to be like you! Confined in the office, wearing dull suits of this so-called professional colors you proudly tell me about."_

At least that was before Tana realized her brother made so much money by 'wearing dull suits of professional colors'... which supported her shopping and other leisure activities. Now she looked so professional, anyone wouldn't have guessed the beautiful Frelian daughter was a third year college student. And to think how Tana passionately _abhorred _gray suits and the likes...

Well, he did not think much as he grabbed the door handle thinking either Gerik, the head security, already entered the room for morning inspection, or Syrene leaving him important notes as usual, with the latter being his secretary. But now he had to face his sister, now arms crossed, which reminded him of their father's unapproving gesture. "You're late," her sister said sternly.

Jaw-dropping in the most inelegant manner a Frelian offspring could make, Innes was so close to spitting the coffee he sipped mid-way to the room. "How did you... and—" he noticed a pile of papers that wasn't there yesterday, at least not until he packed to leave.

"I know you won't start anything!" she charged even before he could take a seat and tried to swallow this truth—of his sister dethroning him from that expensive chair of his. "So I came to help you. We're team, Innes! And I must say, Dear Brother, with the non-existent taste of yours and your keep addressing our potential guests as _minions, _I'm worried."

"Where?" he threw his briefcase on the desk.

"Where what?"

"Where did you hide Marisa's body? Did you kill her so Gerik would comply and let you in?" he mocked, remembering Gerik's versatile right-hand man... _woman, _with unparalelled loyalty even compared to Pikachu. Marisa only took Gerik's orders. And Gerik would be soooo willing to listen to what _he _wanted... right?

"You are so immature," Tana grunted. "She said you weren't here when I came... so I waited. Do you know I skip my lessons today so I can help you?"

"As if wearing formal attire magically turns you into a mature person," his reply was colder than any Forever Alone's heart. "Tana, I'm _busy. _I have no time to _babysit _you."

"You're busy with everything but planning the party!" Tana got up from the desk, making Innes mentally note to purify it later. "You heard Dad, Innes. Let's get this started. The sooner, the better, right? I brought you magazines to help us coming up with an idea to begin with. Then we discuss the concept that is suitable to Dad's liking, assessing the budget with Vanessa, hunting for avenues... oh boy, I'm so excited, I can't wait!"

Innes groaned in frustration. Magazines? He had to deal with them now? But Tana was right after all, sooner or later he had to start planning. And of course, knowing his father, 'later' was not even a choice. _Now this is worse than being asked with what I should hit Ephraim in the butt with, _he thought as he took one magazine out of the piling fossils... alright, _pieces of art _Tana had graciously brought.

"NSFW gifts your friends will like," he read that aloud. "Ex-heck-cuse me? And this is put under _party ideas _section?"

His sister's face turned red at an instant. "Alright, we'll skip that one. Treat it like it is the worst mini-ripped jeans you've ever seen," she grabbed the cursed issue out of his brother's hand.

Innes frowned but didn't say anything. He obeyed, picking up another because he knew the sooner this ended, the lesser he needed to deal with his sister throughout the day. "Don't blame me if I think 80% girls are dirty-minded. The rest 20% are too shy to admit that," he smirked. "Perhaps if you are willing to read _scientific journals, _Dear Sister..." but Tana silenced him by smacking another magazine right at his face.

"Bubbly party, bubbly wine, bubbly resolution perfect for you bubbly New Year's Eve. Invite your bubbly best friends squad to share the bubbliest moment in your life," he read again.

"Oops," Tana grinned sheepishly. "I promise the rest of them aren't that bad..."

"You have five seconds to tell me a good reason why I shouldn't throw you out of the window for wasting my time and disturbing my blissful morning with my dulcet coffee," Innes threatened.

"Dulcet coffee? You really aren't the best conversant are you?"

"Three..."

"Alright, alright! Give me some time," she laughed nervously, grabbing ten magazines at once, skimming it under Innes' unforgiving menacing look. "Better than before. Pool party, funky 70's party, period party..."

"Period party," he repeated. "Period. Party. Am I starting to _think_ inappropriate _things _or your magazines are full of delusional people? Tana, I don't want a funky party. Our party is supposed to be elegant, sophisticated, different—"

"—And refined, cultured, unforgettable, delightful, grandiose," there came his sister's sarcastic response.

"You forgot _perfect,_" Innes frowned again. "But yes. I have to praise you for being able to _juxtapose _your mind with mine this time."

"Stop being punny, you're not funny," Tana glared. "Oh my God, I got infected as well. But, Innes! So much expectation you have in mind yet you're not willing to cooperate with me? If only you told me that you'd prefer an elegant-kind of a party, I wouldn't have to drag those holy manuscripts all the way here to inspire you! I'm trying to save _us _here, you know?!"

"I am not at all inspired."

"Why don't you pick the best out of the worst there while I get us breakfast," Tana raised her hands up, defeated. "Also, I've told Gerik to bludgeon you in the balls if you even dare to get out of this place!"

"Bros don't betray each others because all of us have balls. Our feelings are _perfectly synchronized_ about that wretched bludgeon... and for your information, I do think _the best out of the worst _still qualifies as _horrible. _But of course, by all means, Dear Sister, be my guest. Take your time because I will be more than glad to meet you a century later," Innes responded gallantly. Tana did leave for the glory of breakfast... at least reading some more copies of the _Los Miserablos Treasury _his sister had so kindly brought today wouldn't kill... right?

_What a waste of time, _he thought. _Tana wants me to choose, fine, I'll just do. And maybe praying like a lark hoping for a miracle to get me out of this. _He took five of the magazines and threw his darts at them. _The best out of the worst, huh? _He thought as another dart flied from his fingers. _Let's just pick anything. It's not like it's a dead end... I hope, _he thought again, throwing two more darts. The darts were originally meant for stress-reliever—which also suited him because his aim never missed. Not even once...

_Why didn't I do this sooner? This feels good. This feels..._

The sound of a door creaking made him stop, his mouth agaped seeing Tana returned with two large croissants in her hands.

Oh, how nice it was to be a croissant. Curvy, delicious, a life-saver since it freed people from hunger. Most importantly, a croissant didn't have to deal with Godzilla Tana!

And suddenly the idea of being bludgeoned in the balls didn't sound so bad...


End file.
